Facebook, good or bad?

When Facebook first became viral it was a real novelty, We could connect with friends who had moved away, we could announce social events and share photos with family and friends alike. When its creator developed the code he probably had no idea how successful the concept would become. 


Fast forward to 2010 and Facebook is now almost 6 years old. I registered back in the early days but soon realised that a huge part of my day was spent reading pointless status updates, poking and superpoking friends, commenting on photos and playing poker. I witnessed my employees at the time spending time with facebook on their computer screens, we then had our IT people restrict access to the site on work computers only to then have employees using their mobile telephones to access Facebook instead!


So other than being an unacceptable invasion of privacy and a nuisance for employers what other effects is Facebook having on society? 


When my ex wife had an affair that was responsible for the end of our marriage, I became aware of her infidelity by spotting unusual activity on her itemised mobile phone statement. This was the late 1990s and was a time when SMS text messaging was in a growth period. Everyone suddenly had a mobile telephone and so instant communication had become a part of everyday life and as a result affairs sky rocketed as people discovered as I did the extent of their partners activities. 


Facebook is now the catalyst behind 20% of divorces. Lawyers have said that 1 in 5 divorce petitions contain Facebook references. That is a shocking figure that is only set to rise. More and more companies are now embracing the business opportunity that such an invasive venue provides. Facebook is able to target very specific demographics as it has access to location, age, income etc. It is almost impossible to escape being lured in to Facebook now, itunes have been running a "12 days of Christmas" promotion on the iphone that enables a free download of an app, movie, song etc for each day over christmas. In order to download the app you are encouraged to connect to Facebook, this I guess would then alert all your "friends" to what you have just downloaded and therefore trigger viral downloading by others. 


The Viral aspect of Facebook is awesome. it really is an advertisers dream. Recently as you may know a Facebook user managed to use the viral power of Facebook to influence the Christmas number one song, no doubt to the amazement of Simon Cowell. Will society harness the people power that this exercise has demonstrated?


So what does the future hold for Facebook? Will it become a venue for just kids? Will people continue to publish their entire life in hour by hour segments for all to see? Who knows? It's all about clicks, getting clicks through to advertisers, that is how the whole thing works. In addition, we are by nature voyeuristic, that is why the program Big Brother is so successful.  I can't help to worry about how dangerous it is to have people in your neighbourhood knowing your every move and thought. How many times have you surfed Facebook jumping from friends list to photo albums and back again simply being nosey about people who you know well or not so well? Rest assured, people are also poking their nose into your life too!

An enviable position, or is it?

So I'm 41, My youngest daughter turns 17 in Feb 2010 My eldest daughter is 22 and lives with her boyfriend, My Son lives in London and is a trainee Stock Broker. 

I sold my business over 12 months ago and although I still have some investments and interests although I am largely retired. Is this a good thing or not? I'm not sure. There was a certain sense of achievement at first when I decided that I'd had enough stress to last a lifetime and made the choice to sell up. Now however I feel at a crossroads.

I've done so much in the past 41 years that It feels like I should be much older than 41. Mum died tragically when I was just 10 and I left home as a rebel at 16 with nowhere to live. I have been in business since being 18 (I'll post about this one day) and from humble beginnings I was fortunate enough to own and operate two factories in different industry sectors. Along with this success came a great deal of responsibility and stress especially when trying to juggle a divorce, 3 kids, and a string of relationships. 

So back to today. I'm retired, I have no staff placing demands on me, no more running around after the kids (I've bought them all cars and my youngest will be driving in a couple of months). Initially it was fun, I bought a big cruiser and rode to a friends house in France and then onto Germany. (see picture of the bike strapped onto the ferry from Dover to Calais) I've enjoyed countless lazy days, but now I'm painfully aware that I don't have a plan, I don't have any goals, I don't actually have a reason to get out of bed and that is now a concern. 

When I was young and living in a small flat in a poor part of town I obtained a book entitled "The lazy mans way to riches" It was wrote by a guy name Joe Karbo and at the time I considered it my greatest asset. A major lesson in the book was to set goals, detailed, lucid goals as if you had already achieved them and then to review them regularly. This I did as a naive 16 year old, I listed mainly material things as that is what I considered important back then, I wrote 3 goals in my Filofax 24 years ago. They were:

1) I own a Ferrari In Rosso Red with Cream Leather interior

2) I own a Gold Rolex with Diamond Bezel

3) I own a large house in Cheshire

In 2000 I bought my first Rolex, In 2002 I part exchanged it for an 18 ct gold Rolex with diamond bezel and dial

In 2001 I bought a large house in Cheshire, In 2004 I bought a Ferrari 355 GTB In Rosso Barchetta Red with Crema leather.

And now, that is the problem, I have no goals, nothing to get up for, nothing to fight for. Don't get me wrong, I no longer want to chase material possessions, it was fun getting there. I can't describe to you the feeling of driving a Ferrari up to your Fathers house but the reality is, living at that level, having to fund that lifestyle (unless you're a celebrity) is mighty hard work and exceptionally stressful. 

So I've sat and thought of new goals that I would like to set and yet I can't think of a single one! Why is that? I have dreams of moving overseas, nothing fancy, just somewhere warmer than the UK but I seem to have lost my Mojo. 

Am I content then? no, quite the opposite, I'm still a little bitter about my divorce or rather the effect it had on me and my kids, My youngest was just 6 at the time her Mother had an affair. When we split my son stayed with his mum, my eldest daughter stayed with me and my youngest daughter split her time between her mums house and mine. Despite my best efforts I know they've missed out on things. My ex wife has been single since that brief affair and has fought a drink problem for the past 6 years or so. It was all so unnecessary in hindsight. 

I've found myself turned 40 and at a crossroads. I've been parked up at these crossroads for over a year now, It's time to pick a route and move on. Suggestions on a postcard please!